I decided to join the masses, sell a little bit more of my soul and involve myself with the leagues of other out there posting their thoughts and activities for the world to peruse at will. Regardless of the fact that I don't see myself posting daily or even sometimes weekly I have come to the conclusion that putting down my thoughts and feelings on what was going on in my life at the tender age of 23 is something that will be important later - at least as something to chuckle about in the years to come.

So lets begin the confessional:

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned.." How long has it been since my last confession you ask? "Well.. umm.. I generally don't confess anything nor ever tell the truth, or at least the whole truth." I respond. And not just because of the fact that I'm not Catholic (I'm Episcopal, technically) but also for the fact that I see nothing wrong with leaving out details that I deem unimportant. Michael and I were sitting on the patio the other evening and kind of hit on this topic. Don't think he really agreed with me but I truly look at myself in the mirror and see an honest person, I just whole heartedly believe that there are sometime things that no one benefits from knowing the truth of.. and that if you just keep you mouth shut everything will run more smoothly. There is a quote that is right on the edge of my mind right now. "Be polite to all, but intimate with few." and I think Thomas Jefferson said it. Its an idea I've tried to bend my life around since I came across it back in highschool. What does this have to do with telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth you ask? "I really have no idea." is my reply. God I love rambling.

On a seemingly unrelated note I think the real reason behind my sudden desire to write things down is this really odd feeling I've been toying around with the last couple of weeks. It may actually be longer then a few weeks, now that I really sit here and consider it. But its like I feel this big change coming...though again after more consideration maybe its not a change but more of myself seeing the need for one. I think I'm going to make a list of the most immediate things I feel need attention in my life. Believe me when I say that this will be an ever evolving compilation.

1st - I want to lose weight. And I say that not because I necessarily think I'm a fatty or anything, but only because I've never seen myself as someone who is attractive physically - and I want that. And also when I say lose weight I really intend something more comprehensive then just that. Its difficult I know, to completely change ones lifestyle overnight and especially in areas of diet and exercise but it is something I know that if I can accomplish then I'm all round going to have an easier time dealing with EVERYTHING else in my life. Cause cute people go farther.. and we all know that.

2nd - And this is something I've begun working on already. I have GOT to get my finances under control. Though I don't consider them "out of control" per say, they just aren't on quite as tight of a leash as they need to be. I refer to my checkbook like its a group of people or something.. though its really a rioting mob that drags me to the ground every chance it gets. I fucking hate balancing the damn thing but I've really been doing a better job of it since before Vegas. I think tomorrow (Sunday) I'll sit down with Puss and work out setting up a budget. But like an actual one, not just something in my head.

3rd - I have got to get a hobby.. or maybe even a couple of them. My Aunt Sheryl is a child advocate and it seems to be relatively rewarding and would also be a service to the community. Despite the fact that my choice of careers has led me away from my past desire to be a school teacher, I still very much feel the need to in some way be involved with kids. Kids rock. I'd also very much like to be in more with what's going on in the gay community. Could be a recruiter or something. ha. Simply Red is coming up, oh and since I've been drafted into heading up the big driver appreciation (yeah, truck drivers. Good Stuff Trucks Bring It bitches) event this year that work puts on, that will occupy a lot of my former free time.. at least while I'm supposed to be working ;)

4th - Finnish school. Period.

Aside from finding the perfect guy those are the big 4. It will be an evolving process I know but I think I'll start going back to the gym tomorrow as well, and really get with Jeffrey about meeting me half way at the new gym they just opened on Hwy 10. I defiantly think I'll do better if I have someone bitchy to come along with me to suffer.. of course he like enjoys going or something.. I know.. craziness.