Well its been a week or so since the last time I had balls enough to write anything on here, and since that time I’ve had some serious developments in my life. I should start this however with the fact that I’m not surprised at all it turned out this way. Its my luck – and you would think I’d have learned to live with it by now.
First of all, dude totally confessed out indescretionate weekend to his boyfriend. Like, the day he came back into town told the truth and without any sort of heads up to and/or indication he would do something that insane to me. I mean… we had both agreed that it was better left untold and that for now we would just move along with our lives like it had never happened. He even specifically told me how angry b/f would be if he knew what had happened. This happened Tuesday and I found out sometime that evening.
I was a little freaked out of course, more so because it really caught me off guard then anything else. Then of course the usual fear of dude showing up at my house to kill me, and of course the dread of the eventual confrontation that’s sure to come as it is pretty much unavoidable in a small city with a small gay community like Little Rock. We’re bound to run into each other eventually. However what irritated me the most in the whole situation is again the lack of communication between myself and cheater. The last time I actually talked with him was Tuesday when he called to tell me the awful truth and all he had to say about it was that “b/f was really upset”. Didn’t tell me what was actually discussed didn’t call me back later in the week to give a heads up…nothing. So I’ve been sitting all week wondering if my car will explode the next time I start it, or if that Fedex package that just arrived at work contains a lethal dose of Anthrax.
There does seem to be a glimmer of a light at the end of tunnel only because I did finally get an email at work from cheater asking if I was working that day (Monday, which I wasn’t). Didn’t get to respond till today and it seems that we may be getting together sometime tomorrow after work to “talk” about what’s going on. I’ve already been working on the apology email but kinda hesitant about sending it just I don’t know how much of the truth dude felt the need to share. Don’t want to make the situation any worse then it already is ya know?
We shall see how tomorrow plays out.
On a lighter note I had some of the most insane days of my life over the 4th of July holidays. Totally made my forefathers proud by all the celebration of my independence I did – particularly Friday night going into Saturday morning. Sidewalk chalk is my new best friend and I even have pictures to prove it which, if I can figure out how to post on this thing I’ll be happy to share all. My new name is Sparkle Spice though its more of a state of mind rather then something people should actually call me.
I also met a Cowboy. And not just any cowboy, a real life gay one that is not only the butchest gay man I’ve ever met but also from my same home town. He totally popped up on myspace I believe Sunday night and we started talking and agreed to meet for drinks Monday afternoon. We hit it off pretty well – there were of course several things that immediately put me off though that’s just my personality. He went with me to the party at Jeffrey’s Tuesday and that was where it went downhill. Dude is a like a big kid. Cannot control himself with a water gun and had me on edge the whole time. He was way more fun before he got comfortable with his surroundings and even though pretty much everyone seemed to like him I just don’t think I can do it. Not long term at least. Don’t get me wrong, he was a lot of fun to show up there with, if nothing but for the novelty of it all.
There were lots of other little things that went on that really weren’t worth mentioning in depth. Most of the weekend is a fuzzy blur and I’m sure that’s probably for the best.